*sigh* I know, in this day and age (especially in Cali, where I currently reside), that this is equivalent to saying that I kick puppies and steal old people’s teeth for fun, but it’s true. I drive a vehicle that gets 14 miles per gallon. On a good day. And this isn’t because it’s the vehicle I got stuck with as a hand-me-down or something similar, no. I wanted this vehicle. Badly. In fact, I wanted this vehicle so badly that I agreed to be in debt for 6 years of my life in order to be able to drive it every day. Did I know it only got 14 miles per gallon when I bought it? Yup. Didn’t care. Did I live in a cave and never hear of Global Warming? Nope. Didn’t care. Now, in my defense, I lived in a state that was NOT California at the time, so the hybrid epidemic was basically nonexistent there. And people didn’t care too much about the environment or gas prices, and there were no state incentives to put solar panels on your roof.
And my fiancé isn’t much better. He drives a muscle car that gets about16 miles per gallon (in fact, we met because of the car he drives-more on that later). And he is constantly looking for ways to make it faster (which equals even less gas mileage). And we don’t care. We love our cars and wouldn’t even think about trading them in. Together, we are probably an environmentalist’s nightmare. We don’t turn off the water while brushing our teeth. We don’t turn our computer off when it’s not being used. We don’t walk or bike anywhere to try to save gas. We don’t take our own bags with us to the grocery store.
My friends all know this, and have accepted it (and my hope is that if they have forgiven me, then so will you). I think it helps because they know that it’s not out of some desire to harm our planet, per se. It’s just that I am lazy. Extremely lazy. And I don’t even think of doing these things until it’s too late. And even then, it’s only a passing thought, not a beat-myself-up-over-it kinda thought.
You’re probably wondering why I’m sharing all of this with you. Well, I guess the reason is because I feel guilty. As you know by now, I live in California. The company I work for is a “green” staffing company, and we mainly work with renewable energy-type clients. (I know. Irony, right? Especially when combined with this post, it’s like I don’t like anything about my job) And, a couple days ago, I was at a solar convention. I was surrounded by people who were basically modern-day hippies, whose sole dream was to be completely “off-grid” and making everything just a little bit “greener”. And I felt bad. I knew that I didn’t belong here, but as a part of my job, I was here to try to drum up business. And, contrary to what all of this information may point to, I’m really good at my job. Maybe it’s a lack of fear no matter who I’m talking to, or the fact that I have no “comfort zone” to speak of, or that I’m just naturally outgoing. Who knows. But, I know that I’ve been feeling guilty lately, and this seemed to be the best outlet I knew of to let that out. Whew. I feel a lot better. Thank you.
